So in preparation for the new year I decided that it would be prudent to prepare a long, sappy, memorable, inspirational post recapping the events of 2009 from my perspective…
…Who am I kidding, this is me we’re talking about. The long wonderful post will come eventually, let’s be serious though, we have far more important things to talk about.
NEW YEARS PARTY BOO STYLE
Guildies in attendance:
Megaburger - FAILTANK
Phaseroll - LOOTWHORE
Zoja – CRANKY TANK
Amber – FEARLESS LEADER
There were others there, but because they don’t play wow…they arent worth mentioning . Aaaany way the night started off well, we all met up at Amber and Zoja (Josh)’s apartment which is conveniently located across the street from mine. So I wander over there with approximately $400 of booze from my very own stash because I figure if you’re going to do something, why not do it right?
My Mission: GET JOSH DRUNK, and not just any drunk, drunk enough to remove his brain to mouth filter…which if you know Josh (Towers at 6′-10″ and ?? lbs) is no small task. It’s safe to say that if I succeed in this perilous journey that hilarity will ensue.
So back to the story, it was not yet time to drink because we needed foodz. In total we had 7ish people and we really didn’t want to take more than one car to the restaurant so we decided it was a good idea to take out Amber’s car that she calls Jr. but everyone else calls the spacemobile (or Starfighter). As you can imagine just by the name, it’s a big honkin’ minivan. The starfighter’s got some years on it but has proven time and time again to be one hell of a trooper in a pinch. Phaseroll and I are sitting in the last row of seats as everyone else is piling in when Amber asks for help opening here door.
Note: It’s roughly 7 degrees outside and the starfighter hasn’t been driven in a while so its pretty frozen up.
Her friend Braden who doesn’t play wow and isn’t worth mentioning decided to help. (I speak of him now because of his relevance to the story) Braden grabs the handle and pulls and pulls and pulls and SNNNAAAAAPPPPP…So the Starfighter needs a new door handle, it’s still good, it’s still good.
We manage to pry the door open and pile in, safe to say, Josh is PISSED. So pissed that he slams his door after boarding the vehicle hard enough to knock the cover of an overhead light off…this is where Phaseroll and can no longer contain our laughter.
We arrive at the restaurant and have a nice civilized New Years eve dinner filled to oodles of interesting conversation about boobs, poop, cars, and computers. (All of Josh’s favorite things) After dinner we head over to the store to pick up a few items we’d forgotten for mixed drinks. While there I decided that new years was a perfect time to experiment and try a new beer. Now I know nothing will ever replace my love to Guinness but whats the harm in trying right?
I picked up some Flat Tire, a beer I knew nothing about but decided would be a good choise just by its name. and let me tell you folks…if there ever was a beverage that tastes like its name sounds…THIS IS IT. I had to take 2 shots to wash the taste of rubber out of my mouth. So the lesson here is…stick with what you know!
We made it back to Amber and Josh’s apartment and promptly started drinking. We had movies playing on the TV for those interested and the rest continued our silly conversations. Megaburder (Bill) prides himself on his redneck heritage and decided that it just would be New Years without a 6 pack of PBR, thats Pap’s Blue Ribbon folks, one high-class product let me tell you. So while he was enjoying this, Josh and I decided to partake in a little tradition on invented in drink form.
I call it: Big Mach’s Blood, Sweat, and Tears. Not a complicated drink, similar to a tequilla sunrise just sub the tequilla with your choice of vodka and use sunnyD instead of OJ. It looks a pale orange and tastes like a dreamcicle even with 50% vodka! Then we would all gather in the kitchen for shots when anyone could think of something meaningful to say. We have two favorites this time around.
My famous “Cranberry Love” This is a (I shit you not) Home made Cranberry vodka. A recipe that’s been in my family for generations…Sometimes its good to be Russian .
And we new concoction by the name of “Apple Pie”…and it actually TASTES just like apple pie! I don’t know if I remember the ingredients exactly but I think its something like: Cinnamon, peppermint schnaps, Apple cider, and Everclear…Fantastic drink.
After getting warmed up we thought it would be a good idea to play a drinking game. I had thought of a way to play Apples to Apples as a drinking game so we tried that. (Apples to Apples is a cheesy word association game that when played in our crowd is full of crude and sexual hilarity) This is where things got interesting. between Bill shooting Braden in the face repeatedly with Josh’s novelty NERF gun arsenal and Josh fumbling his words and falling over himself, I was having a blast . After a little while Josh got worse and worse at the game and I accomplished my mission! I will respect his wishes and keep the contents of his mind a secret as they should be. Somewhere around 3am, it was time to head home so I left with Amber passed out of the couch and Josh on the floor mumbling incoherent ramblings while unable to move.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it was a Happy New year. I hope everyone had as much fun as we all did…accept Kyr…he’s to old for fun!
**Watch Amber’s Blog for pictures of our antics**